Meeting God In the Stages of Life: Youth

This is the second in a series of sermons called “Meeting God In the Stages of Life”. In these sermons, we will look at the various stages we go through in our life journey, some of the tasks we must accomplish to move through that stage in a healthy way, and how faith in Christ can help us. In the first sermon I spoke about childhood, and how children are almost entirely dependent on adults for their life and to teach them of God. Today I want to talk about youth, those whom are about 12 to 18 years of age. Teenagers!

If you are older, can you remember what it was like to be a teenager? I don’t know about you, but my teen years were kind of awkward and topsy-turvy. There were fun times and happy memories! But some of the stuff wasn’t very much fun as I was trying to grow up and figure out who I was!

A lot is happening during adolescence. To get a sense of the changes that take place in a short time span, think of the differences between a 12 year old and an 18 year old. There are changes in the body. Those hormones kick in and create all kinds of chaos. There can be tremendous mood swings – up and down, and spurts of growth when the body seems out of control! And all of these sexual feelings, like sometimes they are just taking over!

Developmentally, what’s supposed to happen during the teen years? In other words, what has to be completed for one to move on successfully to the next stage of life? Several of the most important tasks of this stage are to define the self, as separate from parents, and to move out of being dependent emotionally and economically on one’s family of origin. The young person needs to get “launched” so she can be on her own. By the way, this process is taking longer and longer to do in today’s society. In addition, sometimes parents forget that their job is to launch their children so they can become their own persons. For varied reasons, some parents may not want to let their children go.

I doubt that being an adolescent was easy a generation or two ago, but I’m certain that it is a lot harder today! On top of the rapid changes taking place within a teenager, the world in which teens are growing up today is not the same world in which many of us grew up.

In my teenage years (back in the Dark Ages) the “bad” things that kids got into were smoking cigarettes, drinking beer and having sex. These are still with us, but now kids have to contend with the availability of illegal drugs, AIDS and the epidemic of other sexually transmitted diseases, and the reality that more children are growing up in single parent families or in families with step-parents. Teenagers today are growing up in a culture where traditional morality has given way to moral relativism. Youth can see almost anything in films, cable TV and the Internet. So much more could be said, but the bottom line is this: it isn’t easy being a teenager.

Some of you parents of teenagers might be thinking, “Well, it isn’t easy being a teenager’s mom or dad! I don’t think I need to tell you that having a teenager around can make life interesting! Often there is conflict between parents and teens. Some of this is normal, because a teenager is beginning to develop his or her own ideas, thoughts and feelings. These can be quite different from those of mom and dad!

It certainly helps to keep a sense of humor. Humorist and newspaper columnist Dave Barry had a column a few months ago where he talked about his teenaged son. Here is part of what he wrote:

“The last thing I said to my teenaged son as I put him on the plane for Europe was: ‘Don’t lose your passport!’ The second-to-the-last thing I said was: ‘Don’t lose your passport!’ In fact, if you were to analyze all the statements I made to my son in the week before his departure, they’d boil down to: ‘Don’t lose your passport!’

“The message I was trying to convey was that he should not lose his passport. Of course he did not need to be told this. He is a teen-aged boy, and teen-aged boys already know everything. When a boy reaches 13 years of age, the Knowledge Fairy comes around and inserts into his brain all the information in the entire universe. From that point on, he no longer needs any parental guidance. All he needs is parental money.

“This is why a teen-aged boy who has had a driver’s license for a total of two hours knows that he can drive 367 miles per hour in heavy traffic while devoting 2 percent of his attention to the actual road and 98% to the critical task of adjusting the radio to exactly the right volume setting. If you criticize him, he’ll give you a look of contempt mixed with pity, because you are a clueless old dork who was last visited by the Knowledge Fairy in 1873, and your brain has been leaking information ever since.

“And so, when I told my son, as he got onto the plane, not to lose his passport, he rolled his eyes in the way that knowledgeable teenagers have rolled their eyes at their parents dating back to when Romeo and Juliet rolled THEIR eyes at THEIR parents for opposing a relationship that turned out really swell except that they wound up fatally stabbing and poisoning themselves.

“At this point, you veteran parents are asking: ‘So, when did your son lose his passport?’ The answer is: Before he legally got into Europe he may have set an Olympic record for passport-losing, because apparently his was stolen, along with all his traveler’s checks, while he was on the plane. Don’t ask me how this could happen. My son has tried to explain it to me, but I still don’t understand, because I have a leaky brain.”

I will not spend a lot of time in this sermon talking about parent-teen relationships – some other time perhaps. Just remember, teenagers need their parents (in spite of what they may say). Teens long for a meaningful relationship with their mother and father. Probably the most important thing is to keep communication open! Parents, listen to your son or daughter. Young people, don’t blow off everything parents are trying to get across.

Parents, spend time with your teenagers, even if they act like they don’t want you around. Don’t forget, though, to gradually back off, so your son or daughter can develop into his or her own person and begin to live his or her own life.

Last winter I read a newspaper column written by Joe Volupas, a school teacher and columnist. He told how he gave 100 of his students (ages 14-17) an index card. He invited them to put on the card anything they would like to say to their parents, good or bad. Here are some of the cards he received:

Dear Mom: I wish we didn’t fight. I love ya, but it’s hard to show it when you’re always mad at me for little reasons. I wish we were friends and we could talk about everything. I could use another friend. Your daughter.

Dear Mom and Dad: Your little girl is growing up. Give me space. Your daughter.

Dear Dad: Thanks for supporting me by participating in what I do. Your son.

Dear Mom: Stop trying to pick my friends. Your friends aren’t angels either. Your daughter.

Dear Dad: Do you think you can stop putting work before us? We need you at home too. Your daughter.

Dear Mom: You are my role model. I am lucky to have you. Your daughter.

Dear Mom and Dad: Stop fighting and putting me in the middle. Grow up. Act like parents. Your son.

Dear Mom and Dad: Stop pushing me to be something I am not. Your son.

Dear Dad: Thanks for raising me by yourself the best you could. Your son. P.S. Mom, why did you leave me?

Dear Mom and Dad: Even though I act like I don’t like it, thank-you for making every Sunday “Family Day”. Your daughter.

Let’s shift gears here. I want to spend the rest of the sermon thinking with you about this: If I could be a teenager again, knowing what I do now, how would I try to live those years? I realize that any youth hearing this will probably not listen to a single word I say - since you tend not to trust anyone over 20. But I want to try anyway, for what it’s worth.

If I could live my teen years again I’d try to accept myself more as a unique and special creation of God. So many teenagers are down on themselves. It’s hard not to be, if we compare ourselves to other kids. We wish we were smarter, or prettier, or more muscular, or taller, or thinner.

I didn’t have a very high self-esteem when I was a teenager. I remember a time when I was feeling very low about myself. I was sitting at the kitchen table with my dad. Now dad did not have any counseling skills. He wasn’t very spiritual at the time. I’m not even sure he was a Christian then. He was just a machinist working at Armstrong. What he basically said to me was that I ought to accept myself, and that this is the way the Good Lord made me. Today, many years later, I still treasure those words of encouragement.

I had a friend in high school named Albert Kling. He usually sat back of me – Kaufhold, then Kling. He was not a part of the “in” crowd. He wasn’t in that select group of the most popular students. But he had an amazing way of being at ease with himself. There was a natural-ness to his demeanor. He seemed to know who he was and was able to be comfortable with who he was. I envied that in him.

Each of you is a unique and special creation of God. God thought enough of you to create no one else exactly like you! Jesus cares enough that He gave His life for you! Even if you have gotten messages from your parents or others that you are not worth much or will never amount to much, God sees you as special and has a unique purpose for your life.

Secondly, if I could be a teenager again, I would choose the right friends. In my Junior High years my closest buddies were not the best kind of guys in the world. Of course, I wanted to be like them and accepted by them, so I did some things that were not good. I thought I was cool and tough, but some of the patterns and habits I developed became hard to break. Later on I got a new circle of friends and it was a much healthier situation.

Sometimes someone will say, “Well, she’s changed since she started to run around with these friends who are not a very good influence on her.” There can be truth in that. An unwise choice of friends can lead us down the wrong paths. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” If I could be teenager again, I’d be more careful in choosing my friends.

Then, if I were a teenager again I would try to develop some moral boundaries and a moral game plan. A lot of youth today are growing up with hardly any moral markers. They are products of a culture that believes less and less in moral absolutes and feels each person can decide for himself what is right or wrong. However, there are some things that are stupid choices and lead us down destructive paths.

It is good to decide ahead of time where our boundaries are going to be. For instance, the time to decide to avoid alcohol or drugs is not when we are partying with friends and they are encouraging us to do what they’re doing. The time to decide is before that, so that we do not put ourselves into vulnerable situations. The time to say no to teenage sex is not when we’re alone in a car or bedroom with our boy friend or girl friend, all hot and juiced up and fondling each other, but rather to stop ourselves before we get into a spot where our emotions can take over.

Titus 2:6 says, “Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.” 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Shun youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” Those young people are wise who develop a moral game plan on where to draw the lines and boundaries, so they can reduce the risk of getting in over their heads and doing something regrettable.

Finally, if I were a teenager again, I’d hitch my wagon to a worthy star! One of the most exciting things about the teen years is that a teenager has his whole life ahead of him. The choices he makes can have an awesome effect for the rest of life. During adolescence teenagers start to think about career, where they will live, what kind of people they want to marry. Perhaps most important is the choice of a philosophy of life - what will you believe and to what will you give your life.

So many teenagers (and adults!) hitch our wagons to the wrong kind of star, such as pleasure, material things, climbing the ladder of worldly success. Or, we choose to follow heroes and role models not worthy of our life’s sweat and blood.

I want to challenge you to hitch your wagon to a star named Jesus Christ! There is no better Person to align yourself with and to choose as your Hero than Jesus the Son of God! Let Him help you make those important decisions like career or marriage, and how you will live!

I challenge you to be a spiritual giant! Sometimes we minimize the importance that youth can play in the kingdom of God and the leadership role they can play. The Apostle Paul wrote to the young Christian Timothy: “Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). Notice, he was to set an example for adults! We have youth in this church who put some of us adults to shame with their dedication to Christ! Jeremiah was only a kid when God consecrated him to be a prophet. Listen to what it says in Jeremiah 1, verses 4 through 7: “Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.’ Then I said, ‘Ah, Lord God! Truly I do no know how to speak, for I am only a boy.’ But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say, “I am only a boy”, for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and you shall speak whatever I command you’”.

I was a teenager when I was first appointed by a bishop to be the pastor of a Methodist Church. Cassie Bernall was only a teenager when she took a stand for her faith in Christ at Colombine High School that provided for our nation a stunning example of one’s willingness to live and die for Jesus Christ! I challenge you young people to give your life over to Jesus and be an example for all to see what God can do with a life entirely yielded to Him.

The great thing is that when we are willing to give our lives over to Jesus Christ He comes to live in us and provides guidance and help. He gives us His word - the Bible - so we don’t have to wander around without moorings and direction in life. Psalm 119:9 says, “How can young people keep their way pure? By guarding it according to your word.”

Christ promises to be with us through those “wonderful-awful” teen years! We don’t have to be alone! Even teenagers sometimes can be wearied by the burdens and sorrows and problems of life. Listen to what the prophet Isaiah said: “Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:30-31).

When you have broken up with your boy friend or girl friend, remember, Jesus wants to be your Friend. When your parents keep fighting and you wish they would stop, Jesus knows what that’s like for you. When you are down on yourself and feel like crap, Jesus believes in you. When the boy or girl you’ve got your eye on doesn’t even act like you exist, or when you do not get invited to the big dance, remember, Jesus understands. When your best friend lets you down, Jesus won’t abandon you. When you have blown it and done wrong, Jesus offers forgiveness and a fresh start.

If I were to live my teen years over again, I would be sure to hitch my wagon to a worthy star – Jesus, God’s Son!

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