Lititz United Methodist Church Sermon Archive

In this series entitled “Meeting God In the Stages of Life” we will look at “Young Adulthood”. Traditionally, young adults fall into the 18-30 year old bracket. I would like to broaden it a bit to include 19 to 35 year olds (this will allow you 30-35 year olds to put yourselves in a younger category!).

A generation ago, this age group was easier to describe. There was more uniformity. Persons in their early 20’s would get a job, get married and start family. Some simply remained single. Today, it is a different picture. For one thing, it is taking longer to launch children. Many more youth out of high school either go to college, or further their education in another way. There is a longer period in which young adults are dependent upon their parents (at least their parents’ money).

Also, people are waiting longer to get married. Many young adult couples are living together without being married. Many within the 19-35 age bracket have already been married and are now separated or divorced. Some are in second marriages, having to relate to an ex-spouse or perhaps step-children. So, today, there are more varieties of life styles within young adulthood.

Someone has called this period of life “provisional adulthood”. I like that, because at least in the earlier years of young adulthood (the early 20’s), one is kind of an adult, but not really. If you have any doubts that many are not fully adults in their early 20’s, check out how college kids act on Spring Break!

Our daughter Karin graduated from college in December and is now teaching in Maryland. In phone conversations she has mentioned how difficult it is teaching and functioning in the real world. When she was visiting home on Mother’s Day my wife Nancy said to her, “Aren’t you glad you don’t have to worry about final exams in college now?” Karin’s response was, “I kind of wish I were back in college.”

One of the big tasks of the young adult years is to transition into the adult world. Someone has suggested that for young adults there is a tension between the need to explore verses the need to settle down.

As one moves to the later stages of young adulthood, say 30-35, other things come into play. It has been pointed out that about the age of 30 there is another transition. It is then that we get our first inklings that we are mortal!

People are often restless during this period, and usually pick on what’s causing them the most problems! If it is their marriage they may ask, “Do I want to stay married to this person the rest of my life?” If it is their job they may wonder, “Do I want to do this forever?” I was 30 years old when I decided to leave parish ministry and got a job in the Trust Department of a bank. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to be a pastor the rest of my life. I suppose I was right on schedule for an age 30 crisis!

On the other hand, for some men in their 30’s it is a time when they begin to settle down. For women who have married early, hitting 35 can be a type of “retirement” – their children are growing up. If they have focused on being a mom to their children, they are often not sure who they are and what they want. So you see, there is a lot of stuff going on in these young adult years.

I appreciate those who took the time to fill out the questionnaires that I made available prior to preaching this series of sermons. On the questionnaire I asked people to identify some of the issues that they are facing in the stage of life they are in. The responses have been helpful in my sermon preparation.

What does the Bible say that can help those in young adulthood? It is hard to find Scriptures that address the topic of “young adulthood”. One reason is that in Bible times the life span was much shorter. The Biblical writers did not single out stages of life like we do today – “adolescence” and “young adulthood”, for example. In fact, I have read that adolescence was not identified as a concept until after World War II.

The Scripture that was read for today’s worship service is Titus 2:1-6. These Scriptures give advice for people in different age categories. Titus 2:3-5 reads this way: “Likewise, tell the older women to be reverent in behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.” Older women are to set an example for younger women to do these things.

Next follows a word to younger men: “Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled” (Titus 2:6). Younger men are to be self-controlled. (That is a much shorter list for men)!

While there may be few direct Scriptures addressed to “young adults”, the Bible says a lot that can apply to young adult issues like marriage, singleness, career, building friendships, and the like.

Let’s think how faith and commitment to Christ can help shape the young adult years in a positive way. Let me begin with some words for single young adults, who have issues that are different from those who are married.

First of all, commit yourself to live a life of purity for the Lord. If we look at current TV sitcoms or films that either depict young adults or are popular among young adult viewers, there is a great deal of moral laxity evident. Sleeping around with different partners is the norm. Coarse language and profanity is the norm. In many ways we are like first century Christians, who lived in an atmosphere of sensuality and self-indulgence. Against that backdrop we are called to live a holy life.
1 Thessalonians 4, verses 3 through 5 and verse 7 says, “It is God’s will that you should be holy; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God…for God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.”
In the advice given to young men and women that we looked at in Titus 2, the women are told to be pure, and both men and women are to maintain self-control (in fact, that is the only directive given to the men). In talking with single young adults today, I get the impression that it is a jungle out there in the world! The first thing many people want to do when you go on a date is to get you into bed.

It is not easy to live a pure life in a time like ours. Two things can help. First, ask God for strength to live a pure life. His Holy Spirit in us can help us if we are Christians. Secondly (and this is often neglected), link up with 1 or 2 people, or a support group, who can encourage us and hold us accountable to moral integrity.

Here is another thought: If you are single, accept your singleness and make the most of it. There is a tendency on the part of many single people to almost obsess about finding a mate. Single persons may feel sorry for themselves, or play out a “victim” role. Instead of being at peace about being single for now, they may live in wannabe land, wishing they were married. The result can be that they rush into some ill-advised relationship out of a sense of neediness, or that they become negative, unhappy persons.
The Apostle Paul wrote: “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:4). As far as I know, Paul was single when he wrote those words. Paul wrote to Timothy, “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6).

If you are a single young adult, can you be comfortable in your singleness, and realize there can be benefits in that? Recently my wife and I saw a lady we had not seen in years, someone who is a member of a church I formerly pastored. We had heard that she was dating a man in the congregation and that he wanted to marry her. We also were told that she turned him down, saying that she enjoys being single and able to do what she wants. Well, that is a much healthier outlook than the single man or women who is driven to find a spouse no matter what!

One of the advantages of being single is that we can devote ourselves to the Lord in a way that a married person cannot. Listen to what is written in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34: “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband.”

Being a young adult, and single, also can be time when we “work on ourselves”- to work at being as emotionally and spiritually healthy as we can be. This is a time when we should be breaking away emotionally from our family of origin and establishing our own life. We ought to be moving from the place where our parents are the center of our life to developing a network of friendships that in a sense becomes our “new family”.

For those who are separated and divorced and now single again, one of the important things is to gain self-knowledge and to grow as a result of what happened. When I talk to people following a marriage breakup, I encourage them not to rush back into a new relationship too quickly, but to take time to learn from the previous marriage and to take responsibility for their part in its demise.

Since so many important decisions are made in our young adult years, there can be great value in allowing God to guide us. During these years we make choices about career, friendships, whom we will date, where we will live, whether or not we will be involved in a church, etc. God is interested in our lives and longs to have us know the joy and fulfillment that comes when we are in His will. He will lead us if we sincerely seek His guidance!

Up to this point I have been talking particularly to those who are single young adults. I want to say some things now to those who are married.

It is important for married people (as well as singles) to break away emotionally from their family of origin, and to shift their primary loyalty from parents to spouse. Perhaps you are thinking, “For heaven’s sake! If I’m married, doesn’t that mean I have grown up and moved beyond my parents!” Not necessarily!

Often when couples are having problems in their marriage it may stem from issues relating to their parents or family of origin. Perhaps one or both parents cannot let go of their grown child, or fail to see him or her as an adult. Sometimes parents are reluctant to give up running their grown child’s life! Or, an adult child may feel caught in the middle of having to show loyalty to the spouse verses loyalty to his or her parents.

Jesus talked about the importance of committing ourselves to the new bond of marriage and making that our primary loyalty: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife” (Mark 10:7).

Part of one’s loyalty to his or her new family means trying to work things through if difficulties arise in marriage. The third through the tenth year of marriage is what some counselors call the stage of “Realistic Love”. During this period much of the original euphoria wanes. Disappointment with one’s spouse and the marriage can take hold. So it is wise to make an extra effort during this time to build a lasting marriage. This means working hard at the relationship, perhaps getting involved in marriage enrichment courses or studies. In some situations, counseling might be advisable so there is a better chance of staying in the marriage over the long haul. Remember, the advice we saw in Titus 2 was that young women are to love their husbands and love their children. This certainly holds true for men to love their wives and children too.

Many issues for married young adults revolve around parenting. Fortunately today there are many resources available for parents. I am glad that we have a number of parents in this church willing to meet with other parents for guidance and support. This is an important part of what the church should be doing to minister to young adults.
Many young adults today feel under the gun in terms of time. We are busy, busy, busy! A number of people who completed the surveys I distributed shared this as a big concern. If we have young, active children in the home we will probably be keeping a busy schedule.
I am certainly not going to cure all time management problems by preaching this sermon. This is a topic worth addressing at another time (believe me, I struggle with time management issues too). Here are a couple of quick thoughts, however.

Sometimes we get in over our heads because we have not learned to choose priorities. We need to learn to say no. If we are over-committed and frazzled as adults, is this what we want to model for our children? We are all given 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. What we do with it is largely our choice. Perhaps we need to make some changes.

The period of young adulthood is a time when it is important to form new relationships. Friendships and relationships are extremely important to most young adults. The young adult years include many so-called “Generation X’ers”, for whom relationships are vitally important. Many start new jobs, get married, or move to new locations. This often means leaving old friends behind. So efforts have to be made to develop a new network of friends. For some this is easy. For those who may not have outgoing personalities, this can be difficult. There is truth in the old adage, “To have a friend you have to be a friend.”
You can’t sit around and wait for someone to knock on your front door and say, “Hi, I want to be your new friend.” This may mean moving out of our comfort zone and making an extra effort to develop friendships. For Christian believers, it is important to develop friendships with other believers, so we can be stimulated and encouraged in our faith. One of the beautiful things God is doing in our congregation as many new people are coming is that they are developing new friendships among themselves and with others in the congregation. This is a good remedy for the loneliness which many people feel today.
I have only touched the surface of the many issues that challenge those in the young adult years. Perhaps a good place to end is just to remind us that Jesus Christ offers His friendship and power during these eventful years of our life.

Jesus was 30 years old - a young adult - when He came out of obscurity to begin His public ministry. I do not think Jesus gathered around Himself a group of old, worn-out men as His disciples. Rather, He chose at least some who were youthful men and women. As they followed Him they gradually began to realize that they were on a journey with God!

Jesus Christ confronts us at every stage of life with His claim to be Savior, and Lord of all creation. He invites us to follow Him, and begin a journey in the company of the Almighty God!

When we follow Jesus and experience the Living God, we realize that we are never alone again. He is with us, and He resides in us! He is there through all the transitions of our young adult years. He is there to help us in our struggles and to deepen our joys. If you have never begun the journey with Jesus – and with God – will you do it now!

Meeting God In the Stages of Life: Young Adulthood